Are you someone who is "whatever" about everything?

Recently, I saw a popular saying online that everyone can be divided into two types, called "intense people" and "mild people".

What does it mean? Intense people refer to those with passionate personalities, outgoing emotions, and a fervent and assertive approach to life; mild people refer to those with a calm temperament, going with the flow, and doing everything in a "mild" manner, without significant emotional fluctuations.

There is a picture in "Ban Yue Tan" that roughly describes the characteristics of these two types of people in life:

What kind of person do you think you are?

Today's article, I want to talk to you about how I view this classification.

01

Interestingly, this personality classification is not a new concept. As early as the 1950s, a similar classification method was proposed.

Friends familiar with psychology may know a personality classification called Type A and Type B. This was proposed by two medical scientists in the 1950s and once dominated personality testing and classification.

The so-called Type A personality refers to a competitive type. They often have a strong desire for achievement, a strong sense of competition, a strong sense of time, like to work at a fast pace, pursue efficiency, and may have a tendency to be workaholics.

In contrast, Type B personality is the opposite. They tend to be more relaxed and easy-going, also pursue achievement, but not as fervently as Type A. They focus more on the process and experience, prefer to enjoy the present, and pursue a relaxed life.

Do you think these two are actually very similar?

If I remember correctly, this personality classification was popular in China in the early 21st century for a while. Because it is very simple and easy to identify with, the threshold is very low. But because it is too simple, it is difficult to make more detailed descriptions of complex and diverse people, so it was quickly abandoned.

So, popularity is indeed a cycle. Things that were once popular will always have a chance to become popular again at some point...

02

In fact, whether it's intense or laid-back, or Type A or Type B, they are essentially variations of the same personality trait: extraversion and introversion.

Some may ask: Isn't extraversion and introversion a social attribute? Why is it related to intensity and Type A or Type B?

Actually, it's not. Extraversion and introversion are very fundamental traits, and social interaction is just one aspect of their expression.

Many people may know that extroverts gain energy from being in a group, while introverts gain energy from being alone. But this is just a manifestation, not the essence.

So what is the essence of extraversion and introversion? It's the amount and ease of dopamine secretion in the brain.

The easier it is for someone to secrete dopamine, and the higher their dopamine threshold, the more we say they are "extroverted." At the same time, the traits they exhibit tend to be closer to intensity and Type A, meaning they are more passionate, energetic, and enthusiastic.

Conversely, for those who do not easily secrete dopamine, and have a lower dopamine threshold, they tend to be introverted. They appear more easy-going, calm, and do not like to argue with others. They tend to be more relaxed and at ease.

It is the level of dopamine that determines a person's extraversion or introversion, and extraversion or introversion determines a person's external characteristics, whether they are more like an intense Type A person or a laid-back Type B person.

03

Some may ask: Doesn't dopamine affect our happiness? Why is it related to personality?

This is a deeply rooted misunderstanding. Dopamine does not determine happiness, but motivation.

We can understand it this way: everyone's brain has a "dopamine groove." The longer this groove, the more dopamine it can accumulate. Driven by this dopamine, a person's motivation to do things becomes stronger. Outwardly, this person will appear more passionate, energetic, and intense, which is a typical "intense" person.

Conversely, if this groove is short, what does it mean? It means it is easily filled. Once it is filled, we feel "overloaded" and need to temporarily disconnect and rest for a while to let the dopamine levels drop.

This is why introverts enjoy being alone. Because the "dopamine groove" of introverts is short, it is easily filled by external stimuli, leading to overload. When overloaded, they appear tired, anxious, and at a loss. Therefore, they need to temporarily shield themselves from the outside world to let the dopamine levels drop and return to normal.

In other words: what is "just right" external stimulation for extroverts is almost always severely excessive for introverts. This leads introverts to naturally reject crowds, unfamiliar social interactions, and other overly intense stimuli, as these are a huge drain and stress for them.

Furthermore, because the "dopamine groove" of introverts is short, their daily state tends to have lower dopamine levels. Therefore, introverts often appear easy-going, unassuming, and uncompetitive, which is a typical "laid-back" person.

Its essence is a state of low desire, low impulse, and low motivation.

So, if you are a "laid-back" person and often feel that many things "don't matter," and are quick to say "forget it," the likely reason is that your dopamine levels are low, and you are constantly in a state of low desire and low stimulation.

04

So, is this state good or bad?

It's hard to make a blanket statement, perhaps it's still true that "everyone knows best what suits them."

For a "laid-back" person, the most common problem they may encounter is a lack of motivation. They often feel bored, lethargic, and don't want to do anything, feeling like they are always being pushed by the outside world, always passively responding to the outside world. This may make them feel painful or confused about the meaning of life, leading to a sense of emptiness.

At the same time, due to a lack of motivation, they may not like to argue, not like to "fight for" and "stand out", which may lead to a lack of presence in the workplace and society, easily becoming someone who buries themselves in work, easily suffering losses, and not easily being seen.

But at the same time, introverted people also have their own advantages. Unlike extroverted people, they don't need constant action, sprinting, and achievements to feel satisfied. A little bit of subtle feedback and happiness is enough to make them feel content.

For example: the afternoon sunlight shining into the room; accidentally hearing a good song; the sense of stability brought by solving a problem; a thank you and recognition from others...

They don't mind doing things alone. Shopping alone, eating alone, leisure alone, traveling alone... for them, the hustle and bustle is a disturbance. Quietly being alone and doing what they like is a great pleasure for them.

They adhere to the order of their inner world, don't like to be disturbed, and hope to have their own peace in this noisy world.

But what am I trying to say to you? Don't label yourself.

Is an introverted person definitely not a workaholic? Of course not. An introverted person can also focus on work for several days, neglecting food and sleep. The difference may only be that extroverted people may be full of motivation for many things, while introverted people may only focus their energy on things they like.

Similarly, is an introverted person definitely very quiet and reserved? Of course not. If you talk to an introverted person about something they like, they may talk to you enthusiastically for hours. The difference may only be that they need a longer time to rest and recover after talking.

Everyone's personality is complex. Extroverted/introverted, intense/subdued, Type A/Type B... these are just one-dimensional tendencies and do not represent absolute behavior. A person's behavior is always the result of multidimensional integration, and cannot be measured and understood by a single label.

For example: we tend to think that extroverted people like to experience new things more than introverted people. But is that really the case? Not necessarily. An introverted person with high openness may be more enthusiastic about new things than an extroverted person with low openness.

Similarly, an introverted person with high conscientiousness may behave more like a workaholic than an extroverted person with low conscientiousness.

Therefore, when you use a label to define yourself, you are actually limiting yourself to a very small range and restricting your possibilities.

So, how should we view labels?

My point of view is: labels are used to describe ourselves to others, not to limit and confine ourselves.

For example: when I say "I am an introverted person", what do I want to express? I want to tell you that I am not very fond of socializing, I like quietness, I like being alone, and I hope you can understand and accept this.

It's not telling myself: I am an introverted person, so I shouldn't have too much social interaction, shouldn't get too enthusiastic with others, shouldn't join crowded groups...

Similarly, when I say "I am a subdued person", what I want to express is: I am a person with a calm personality, I don't like being too involved, I don't like disrupting my life rhythm casually, and I hope you can understand. It's not: because I am a subdued person, I shouldn't be too concerned about things, shouldn't strive for my own interests...

In short, labels are used to introduce ourselves to others, to help others establish a general, preliminary impression of you, to know what you like, what you are used to, and how to get along with you. It is essentially a "social business card".

It is not used to define and confine ourselves: because I am a certain type of person, so I should do this and that, shouldn't do this and that...

You should know that language has a strong self-suggestive effect. Your understanding of yourself will influence and drive you in that direction.

The more you feel like an introverted person, the more likely you will live according to the stereotypical impression of "introverted", making yourself more and more introverted.

The more you feel like a subdued person, the more subconsciously you will become calm and easy-going, less impulsive, and less enthusiastic and energetic. Even when you feel like you are deviating from the path of being "subdued", you will subconsciously prevent and restrain yourself, bringing yourself back to the "right track".

This is not good.

So, what is my advice to you?

Understand your strengths and weaknesses, choose a lifestyle that suits you better, and don't be limited by these labels.

I hope that through this article, you can understand the physiological mechanisms and principles behind your traits, understand why you are like this, and understand what these traits can bring to you.

If you are a subdued person, then your advantage may lie in a more peaceful mindset, less anxiety, less pressure, and easier to find happiness and satisfaction in life.

What about your weaknesses? It may be a slight lack of energy and motivation, not being able to argue with others, and not being able to handle too many challenges and problems.

So your way of life may be to "let go of the small things": avoid getting into arguments over trivial matters, and avoid letting them consume you; but for matters of principle and vital interests, you should try to overcome psychological barriers to speak up and fight for your rights.

You may not be good at verbal communication with others, so you can try to choose written, asynchronous, and well-considered communication as much as possible in your communication style, which can better play to your strengths and avoid weaknesses.

You may have a lack of energy, so it's better to try to avoid dealing with too many things at the same time; instead, focus on some things and concentrate your energy on the most important things, trying to do your best on important matters.

Your position may not be so firm, so it's better to try to avoid meaningless arguments with others and avoid disputes over opinions; instead, try to elevate your perspective, integrate the views of both sides, and enable yourself to have a more comprehensive view of things, avoiding falling into the trap of "where you stand determines what you see."

...

But at the same time, you should also know:

You are a real and unique person, and no label can fully describe you. What you are like is entirely up to you, not determined by any label or classification.

Do what you like; pursue what you want. Your way of life determines what kind of person you are, not the other way around.

There is no such thing as the "real you." What you are thinking and feeling at this moment is the real you.

- Casual Chat -

1. The so-called "dopamine pathway" is just a convenient term for understanding, and there is no such pathway in the brain, so keep that in mind.

2. People with low dopamine levels may be prone to lack of motivation, so it's not necessary to force yourself to be "energetic" and "enthusiastic" about everything; that's not very realistic. Instead, finding things you are truly willing to invest in may be more important.

3. What is everyone doing for the May Day holiday? Feel free to chat about your holiday activities.